Finding Inspiration and Motivation

Finding inspiration on the social network is easy now. With technology so advanced, it is not difficult to type in anything on the Search bar on Google. Sometimes, Google filled in the gaps for you or the missing spaces. Immediately you would be greeted with tons of search results that you wouldn't have expected. It is as if everything is at your finger tips and an "Enter" away. It is that easy. People are forgetting the values of books, and the sheer joy of flipping those pages, or the smell of freshly printed copies on the shelves. But of course you can't find everything on the Internet, it is the same with the library. Not all the libraries are filled with the latest printed references or novels. There are things out of print that you may find a digital copy from a legitimate or illegitimate source on the Net. I am reading online comics not because I cannot afford to buy the printed versions, but because my house is running out of space to store them. And I do not like to give away old books not I am willing to sell them. Everything is a memory for me, even books that I collected through the years, most especially books. However that said, I am parting with some of them, with difficulty, but there is no choice. Without the old ones gone, there is no space for new ones, there is a saying in Chinese, one that many used as an excuse to buy and hoard more stuff.

There is one artist who produces artworks that I will never get tired of looking. It is in fact possible to stare at them for hours, even though I only have the opportunity to look at the online copies from his portfolio website. He paints suburban scenes and made them look poetic and beautiful, with striking colours and alluring compositions. I cannot imagine what I will do if I will to encounter his originals. I could purchase one or two if I could afford them. But he is such an inspiration. He would turn a mundane street scene to a fiery painting, one that strikes a cord with you and makes you think about the place, and about what he sees that you can't see. His name is William Wray. He is a cartoonist for god's sake, yet he paints like a Rembrandt in modern times.

Here's one of my favourite! Isn't it gorgeous?

Now that's when Internet is useful. How would it be possible without the Internet that I could find such a great artist who is leaving on the other side of the globe. The super highway has enabled us to travel in great length to see such great art pieces like this without flying across the Pacific. That's what the Internet should be used for.

Finding Motivation, well is a little harder.

It has been a while now. I couldn't stop myself feeling a little low. Nothing very drastic changed, I am still sketching, teaching and learning stuff. When I do all these things, I just feel that I am not there in person. I am physically there but mentally or spiritually, I am not. I have lost a sense of direction and I am just like a wandering sheep, bungling along. I used to have a "rush" to do things but now, I don't. In my mind, I am constantly telling myself "what's the point"? On the flip side, I am resisting that thought internally. That perpetual struggle and fight left me depleted. I would stare into space doing nothing (that was an exaggeration). I used to be constantly doing things. Maybe I am burnt out. Maybe I am just tired of how things are. Maybe I have resented to be a mediocre in what I do. I might have lost the fight in me. Maybe I should stop fighting and let God sought it out for me.

I desperately needed some peace in my heart. Probably that's why I drew this illustration. A heart without peace is a heart troubled. When the heart is troubled, everything else crumbles. However I do not resort to giving up everything yet. I know this is just a phase and I am eagerly waiting for it to come to an end, even though this has carried on for almost 2 years. Yes I am desperately wanting to know where all these would lead to. This boat needs to dock.

I need a friend to ask me how am I doing, to truly see beyond my hardened facade to find a soul that is looking for some kind of help. I am not all that together, unlike what others may think.

I need to find that child in me again. God help me!

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